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  • Thu, April 16, 2020 8:48 AM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    About fifteen years ago I was given what I thought was the most devastating news I could have ever received. I was told that my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Not only am I the baby of the family and the only girl, but I have always had a special relationship with my father. He was and will always be the toughest, smartest, most practical, no nonsense man I have ever known. My grandfather passed away from Parkinson’s disease almost 30 years ago so the thought of watching my tough-as-nails father deteriorate and weaken in the same manner was terribly upsetting and scary. Little did I know that another blow was about to come. About 3 years after my father was diagnosed, we began noticing changes in my mother. She was stressed in her job and had always suffered from some level of anxiety, but this was beginning to look a little more exaggerated than just regular stress. The fears that she would talk about with home and work were beginning to sound irrational and once while visiting us in Pittsburgh I awoke to her yelling out in her sleep. It wasn’t until talking later with her and my father about this observation that they told me she was having night terrors and of a few recent incidents of forgetfulness. They explained that twice when my mother was at the grocery store and it was time to pay for her groceries, she suddenly froze and couldn’t remember how to use the credit card machine. I was completely blown away. My mother was 64 years old, about to retire from her counseling career in the school system, and she was forgetting how to use a credit card machine. We were devastated and my mother was soon diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and Parkinson’s dementia. How could this be?

    As soon as I could digest the information I put on my occupational therapy hat and got to work assisting my parents with this journey. A few years later Justin and I moved back to Texas and found out the fantastic news that we were pregnant with twins. Our lives changed overnight. One thing became clear very quickly; that this Gen X’er was thrust into a new generation, the Sandwich Generation. The Sandwich Generation original construct refers to younger women in their thirties and forties who were taking care of their children, but also having to meet the needs of their aging parents. This was me. I wasn’t expecting to be in the space this soon, but here I am. We will all find ourselves here sooner or later (and for you I pray it is later), but it is never too early to start the conversation. I have not lived through all of the ages and stages of this process, but here is the advice that I can offer to those moving in this direction:

    •  Maintain frequent contact. This may not be an issue for any of you, but regardless it’s worth saying. Not only do our parents give us their love and their sound advice on parenting and life but they also offer us a window into their daily routines and lifestyles. I don’t know about you, but when my folks retired and they started their new life with the kids grown, I was really able to see their likes and dislikes and new found interests. They wanted to travel more, socialize with friends, and relax. This, for me, was a wonderful time to witness but I was also able to notice the changes in both my parents prior to their diagnoses. I could see the amped-up anxiety turn to irrational fear in my mother and the physical changes in my father. They started slow but because I had begun to watch closely, I realized my parents’ changes over time, therefore my brothers and I asked the right questions and got them in to the doctor.
    • Keep your parents up to date and teach them modern technology. Take it from me, there is nothing more frustrating than trying to explain to aging parents the step by step instructions of how to check their email, how to use their cell phones, or google anything in person, much less over the phone. My advice is to try and introduce things along the way as technology changes and encourage them to update accordingly so that they are and stay familiar. This day and age we are able to communicate in the most efficient and instantaneous ways. I know that we have all benefited with this during the Covid-19 situation. However, if people are not familiar with this technology, it serves no purpose. The devices are there for us to communicate so I encourage you to make it familiar to those in the previous generation. It’s difficult to catch them up later.
    • Don’t be afraid or wait too long to have difficult conversations. We all feel like our children are growing up too quickly. People will always tell you “enjoy it while you can because before you know it they will be in kindergarten.” (Cue the eye roll) Well, I am here to tell you that that is stinking TRUE. Ugh! Just as fast as they are growing up, your parents are aging at the same rate. So take the time to talk with them about the hard subjects. You will be surprised at how easily the conversation will happen. Just bring it up. In a conversation my mother had with my youngest brother a few years ago she was able to state that she wanted to live in her own home until she was unaware that it is hers. Just writing this makes me teary. One reason is because I am not sure today that she could make that assertion as clearly, but the second is for a wonderful reason. We have worked as family to make this desire a reality for my mom in providing caregivers for them at home. We are all so thankful that this strong desire of my mother’s was made clear because my brother took a chance on having a difficult conversation.
    • Involve your children with the appropriate amount of information. It is easy to shelter our children from information that you feel that they won’t understand or that you think might scare them, but they are more understanding and can adjust to change much better than you think. I never addressed the fact that my parents were sick with my girls, even when it was obvious. They were taking pills left and right and using walkers around the house. Instead of just telling them the truth I would shield them from it and I don’t really know why. Someday somebody smart will analyze this and explain it to me, but until then I will say keeping them in the dark is not worth it. Your kids see everything going on, they see the changes, and they deserve some explanation. The funny thing is that kids ultimately don’t care. My girls still crawl up in my parents’ laps, they listen intently as my mother reads them a story (even if it’s not exactly correct), and they cannot wait to go back for another visit.
    • My final bit of advice is for you. Take care of yourself. You might find yourself in the role of a double duty caregiver (my made up term) one of these days. Just remember to give yourself some grace because you cannot do it all, you cannot see it all, and you cannot solve it all. Remember to forgive yourself when you get frustrated because first you are the daughter and that how daughters react sometimes to their parents – frustrated. That is okay. Trust professionals and don’t forget to take time for yourself.

    I hope that this blog describes a situation that is far from your reality and that you aren’t in this Sandwich Generation anytime soon. In the meantime, you might benefit from these simple bits of wisdom, if not for you, for someone else.

    Author Janae Huffman is a twin mom to Audrey and Eleanor, age 5. She is the VP of Special Events for FWMoM and an Occupational Therapy in Granbury now that her kids have entered into school.

  • Wed, April 08, 2020 2:38 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    I joined FWMoM in February 2015 when my twins were four months old. I showed up to a monthly general meeting, excited to meet other MoMs and clueless as to what this organization would have in store for me over the next few years. Five months later I was encouraged to take on the role of Vice President of Programs, co-chairing it with fellow MoM (and now one of my best friends) Janae. We had so much FUN during those two years – brainstorming and planning and cooking and setting up and cleaning up. It was a blast. After that term was up, it was onto VP of Special Events, then State and National Rep, Newsletter Editor, Playdate Coordinator along the way and Webmaster too! Over the years I’ve worn many hats with FWMoM. Below are just a few of my take-aways from my years of service to this organization.

    • Friendships. This one is first on my list because it is the absolute most important and valuable thing I have gained. Over the years, the members of this group have become my absolute best friends and confidants. Being on the Board together creates a connection that you won’t get by standing on the sidelines. (pro tip: if you’re nervous about stepping into a leadership role, talk one of your FWMoM besties into doing it too.

    • Leadership. After having my twins, I made the decision not to go back to work. Leaving the workforce also meant leaving behind opportunities for leadership. FWMoM gave me back that opportunity. I have gained leadership skills that have directly benefited me in other aspects of my life, and I know they will continue to serve me for years to come.

    • Skills. Another aspect of myself that was “lost” when I stopped working was the opportunity for learning and personal development. With FWMoM, there have been so many opportunities to learn and grow. Event management, marketing, and website development are just a few of the skills that I gained through service to this organization. Heck, I even get to bust out some spreadsheets now and then!

    • Connections. Connecting with community is just part of the job when you take on a leadership role with FWMoM. Meeting with the owner of Chimy’s to iron out the details of an event, negotiating an event space at CERA, or chatting with a potential sponsor – I’ve formed meaningful and lasting relationships throughout our community.

    • Time management. I bring this one up not to tell you I’ve become great at time management. I mention it because it’s the first thing that comes to mind when considering a leadership role with FWMoM. Do I have time for this?! I’m not going to say yes (I don’t know what your schedule is after all). I will say having something to focus on besides feeding schedules and potty training saved my sanity on many occasions. Also, you’re not going to find a more understanding group of people than a group of MoMs!

    Looking back on the last five years, I wouldn’t change anything about my time spent in a leadership role with FWMoM. I hope you’ll consider leaning in and serving!

    Author: Tyler Wright is mom to four-year-old twins, Audrey and Juliette. She is a CPA, yoga instructor, Moms Group Coordinator and Public School Liason for her neighborhood association. She currently serves FWMoM as our Webmaster and Newsletter Editor.

  • Wed, April 01, 2020 4:03 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    I absolutely loved Salt-n-Pepa when I was growing up. “Let’s Talk About Sex” was definitely a catchy tune that would stick in my mind and I’d hum it, dance to it, and sing it (when my parents weren’t around, of course). I mean, you’re probably singing it in your head right now. You’re welcome for that, by the way…. (Need a quick throwback? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g Enjoy.

    In February, the Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples (FWMoM) meeting welcomed a fellow twin mom, and one of our GOLD LEVEL SPONSORS, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, PhD Sexologist, as a guest speaker. Dr. Holbrook provided a fun and informative evening with answers and suggestions for us to navigate our relationships, our parenting, and our own beliefs and feelings regarding sex and intimacy. Her presentation even included a 3D model of female anatomy printed at the local public library! It was awesome. Her story-telling, real life, no-nonsense, scientific-yet-relatable approach made the taboo subject of sex feel very normal and comfortable.

    One of the biggest “takeaways” from the presentation (for me) was the reminder that WE ARE ENOUGH…..AS IS. No matter what your faith, no matter what your lifestyle, no matter what…..we are all unique and made to be exactly who and what we are. Especially during today’s uncertain times, it is easy to question if we are enough…doing enough…cleaning enough…disinfecting enough, homeschooling enough....housekeeping enough…working out enough…keeping our spouses/partners fulfilled…preparing enough...the list is endless. The fact remains that no matter what the FEELING or insecurity tells us, WE ARE ENOUGH and we need to recognize, appreciate, and OWN our worth.

    Trying to successfully balance being a good mom AND an intimate partner is not an easy task…… I know for me, I felt that I was somehow “broken” and my body just didn’t work like it did before becoming a mommy. Dr. Holbrook explained that the biggest killer of arousal is RESPONSIBILITY. I found this statement to be GENIUS. When she said it, I wanted to stand up and scream out loud “YASSSSSSSSSSS! PREACH!” For many of us (I would venture to even say MOST of us), being a mom means handling (almost) every need that arises in our homes. The expectation that we place on ourselves to suddenly shift from being “Mom-Boss” by day and an aroused sexual goddess by night is unrealistic (and unkind). Our brains and our ongoing “to do lists” don’t disappear when our children go to bed for the evening. Wouldn’t that be amazing if we could just suddenly be blissfully unaware of responsibilities every night at 8pm?! Expecting our bodies to separate from responsibility and become energized and aroused brings challenges that we must recognize and work through.

    Good news…. you are absolutely NOT broken. Your situation, your life, and your body need time to recover, adjust and create a new “norm”. This can take months and even years…go easy on yourself! Stop carrying guilt and allowing yourself to feel like a failure. YOU ARE GROWING AND MOLDING MULTIPLE LIVES THAT WILL ULTIMATELY DO GREAT THINGS IN THIS WORLD. YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU WERE MADE FOR ALL OF THIS AND YOU’RE COMPLEX AND AMAZING AND CAPABLE OF HANDLING ALL OF IT.

    If you missed the February meeting, be sure to check out FWMoM Facebook page. The presentation was provided via Facebook Live and has been posted for review. Additionally, Dr. Holbrook invited all of us to join her private Facebook group for discussions, questions, and information regarding all things related to sex and intimacy. To join, search “Circle of Sensual Women” on Facebook and request to be added.

    Lastly, I want to mention that Dr. Holbrook offers a complimentary 30 minute discovery call to explore how she may be able to help clients. She is amazing, and we are so very grateful to have her as a GOLD LEVEL SPONSOR of our organization. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and utilize this incredible resource.

    Phone: (682) 207-1047

    Email: celesteholbrook@gmail.com

    Website: www.drcelesteholbrook.com

    Author: Beth Wangerin is a mom to a 5 year old boy and 3 year old twin girls. She currently serves as the VP of Sponsorship and Fundraising for Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples.

  • Wed, March 25, 2020 3:29 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    For all of us, life has changed drastically in the last two weeks in light of the government mandated orders narrowing our exposure to others in hopes of slowing the spread of Covid-19. Many parents are faced with the challenge of working from home with their children running around underfoot. Still others are now homeschooling their kids with only virtual help from their kids’ loving teachers. The brave few with essential service occupations (a round of applause!) are on the front lines of exposure, going to work away from their families to keep the rest of us safe and cared for. Many of us regularly stay home with our babies and preschoolers, but “stay home” is a loose translation, as we are accustomed to going out for play dates, appointments, trips to the zoo and museum, and grocery shopping with the whole crew! No matter who you are, your life has taken a turn into unprecedented and unexpected territory, leaving you scrambling for some sense of normalcy for you and for your kids.

    Children have the ability to sense that things are different; they can feel our tension as well. Even as babies, they are probably now missing the stimulation of going to daycare or leaving the house. We can combat the anxiety they may be feeling by sticking to a routine. If you’re not a regimented person (I’m not!), you can think of this more as a daily rhythm; it doesn’t have to be a strict schedule. If your kids are old enough, get their input on what they’d like to achieve each day or in what order they’d like to accomplish their tasks. For kids of any age, it can be comforting to check tasks off as the day wears on.

    A few tips for creating a daily rhythm:

    1. Arrange learning activities to occur in the morning when kids have a more flexible mindset and more emotional investment to devote to them. Save free play and passive activities like screen time for the afternoon when everyone is nearer the end of their patience!

    2. Narrow the scope of options for your kids. Too many choices can cause decision overload. A room full of toys can be overwhelming for children and they wind up complaining of being bored! Choosing only a handful of toys or activities to pull out each day or every few days can help your kids be more confident in making decisions in their free play.

    3. We all need a change of scenery! Even if your house is in full lockdown, “no one in, no one out” mode, you can go outside to play, read, or eat a meal. Even spending time in different rooms of the house can help the time pass. Spend some time doing crafts at the kitchen table, play with a certain toy in each kid’s bedroom, take a bubble bath in the middle of the day!

    4. Devise a plan for filling your day; don’t try to think on the fly when the kids are flying off the handle and you’ve been playing referee. Personally, my goal is to hit on these major domains every single day: numbers/counting/math, letters/reading, art, fine motor, gross motor, and building/constructing. I’ve made a list of activities to pull from and each night I can ready the materials we will need for the next day. I consider these to be the main academic realms in preschool and many of our activities cover at least two of these areas at the same time.

    Above all, seize the gift of time you’ve been given. No matter your children’s ages, you can come out on the other side of this better connected as a family unit. Savor the chance to teach your kids something new, to be creative together, to start that chore chart you’ve been meaning to create or begin daily family devotion time. Dream with your kids and make plans for the future, work together toward a common goal. Take time to connect with friends and family through phone calls, written letters, or face time. As a final word, I want to urge you to embrace grace. This is a highly unusual situation for most of us and we are all figuring out a new way of living. Allow room for abundant grace for your kids, your spouse, your coworkers, and yourself. We’re all in this together. If today was hard, tomorrow can be better.

    Author: Emily Denis is mother to 3 year old triplets, and a 5 year old. She serves FWMOM as our Vice President of Socials. 

  • Wed, March 18, 2020 10:38 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    Psalm 91

    He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand]. Stable and fixed sounds pretty good right now, considering our situation. That means you, momma, can be stable in your home! There’s security in the truth that no foe (no viral pandemic) can withstand the power of God.  

    I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust! SAY THIS! We have talked a lot about the words coming out your mouth and how they shape your environment. SPEAK IT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. I can verify: it will silence fear. Another version says, “He’s the hope that holds me” and I repeat this when I feel afraid of what lies ahead.  

    For then He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. A snare is a hidden trap of an enemy, this is something you don’t see coming. I’m there, I didn’t see this pandemic coming. So here is the promise: safety from the trap I was blind to. The deadly pestilence, this virus, any disease... here is my promise to put my faith in. Even if someone we love contracts this invisible trap, we have this promise of deliverance to hold onto!  

    Then He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler. This picture brings me such peace. His faithfulness to His word is my shield.. And yours! 

    You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, Nor of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor of the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste at noonday. Boom... fearless! Ladies, we do not have to be afraid of what’s to come! Don’t fear a thing! Day or night you better believe terror is coming for your heart and your mind... but it cannot take you out if you don’t let it in! Fear grows when you feed it. Replace fearful thoughts with faith filled thoughtsyou’re promised that fear will not take you out!  

    A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you. Only a spectator shall you be [yourself inaccessible in the secret place of the Most High] as you witness the reward of the wicked. I take this promise very literally. When I’m assigned the high exposure risk patient, I have a promise that I will remain unscathed and unharmed. How about you? What can you say to it when your kid picks the food off the floor in Costco and eats it? Say: IT WILL NOT COME NEAR ME. When you do, your enemy runs because you are inaccessible!  

    Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place, 10 There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent. Mommas, this is for you. You make your resting place in Him, and you have this promise for your entire household! COVID-19 or any other plague will not come near your home! Your kids! Your family! When I come home from work, those bugs have got to die before setting foot in my house. Not because I’m so cool but because the Lord is. This doesn’t negate wisdom, wash your hands people! 

    11 For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways. 12 They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You shall tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample underfoot. We may not know on this side of life how many times the angelic forces defended, preserved, and kept us in our goings. We nearly got hit one day in the car and my oldest said “mom, I think we squished an angel just then!” and he’s probably right! 

    14 Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness—trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never]. Look again at those last words, you will never be forsaken by Jesus, no never. To be 1000% clear we have a triple negative... Never, no never!  

    15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation. God hears you. That’s your promise. This is especially true when you are feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and beyond over it all (I am there and we are one week in). The promise is delivery and honor, and that’s what I put my faith in.  

    I know this was a bit long, thanks for sticking in there. The most valuable way we can spend our time fastened in safely at home is by feeding our faith and starving the fear. What tomorrow brings, who knows? What I know is that these truths will be true tomorrow, no matter what.  

    Author: Tonya is mother to 3 boys, Lucas and 4 year old twins Wyatt and Timothy, and she serves FWMOM as our Chaplain. 

  • Wed, March 18, 2020 10:20 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    Has our world been flipped upside down or what? I could never have imagined we would be in the midst of a global pandemic. Ifact, I didn’t even believe it was likely at all. From my experience as an ICU nurse and seeing the seasonal flu and other diseases run through communities; it is unreal that this COVID-19 virus is wreaking the havoc it is. Unprecedented really, that what can be described as a weak virus in comparison to others, shakes the earth so hard.  

    But that’s not what this blog is about. Here we are, in the middle of a season full of uncertainty and constant fluidity. We can talk for days about the moment to moment developments, but let’s not. This situation has driven anxiety to the highest marks. Panic. Let’s not sugar coat itjust look it straight in the eye and call it out. What is worse than the virus is the fear that is grafted to it. Fear cleared the shelves at the stores. Fear drove discord into governments to the point of slow action. Fear is keeping our faces glued to the internet... worried about ‘homeschooling’... terrified of the uncertain finances. I do not for a second downplay the reality of the situation.  As a nurse, I’m seeing firsthand how it’s affecting our hospitals and critical services; it’s unsettling 

    What I want to do instead of exalting the fear and this pathetic virus, is to shout from the rooftops (and articles) the answerFear goes when faith arrives. Fear and faith are on opposite ends of a continuum. As we move towards faith, we are moving away from fear. Same is true for the opposite; the more fear and anxiety and worry we think about, the further we become from faithTo break it down further, it really depends on what yourputting your faith in. If our faith is in wealth, certainly we know that can fail. If our faith is in ourselves, and our ability to roll up our sleeves and get er done, at some point we will fall flat When we put our faith in our government, our spouse, our job. we are destined to be let down.  

    The only true and stable, life-giving, never-failing force to put faith in is Jesus. Wherever you are on your journey, please don’t tune me out. I am not religious, I am in love with Love, and I want to share His truth with you during this turmoil filled time. This is how I keep calm, how I am walking in peace, how my life is sustained regardless of the crazy world around me.  

    My faith is very personal to me. I didn’t have it until I was an adult. One of the very first things I learned to do was to literally believe the words in the Bible were for me. Psalms 91 is one of the first chapters that I began to put faith in and it transformed me. I want to unpack some of that for you now. Why? Because Coronavirus is stocking the earth with fear, hoping to catch you. Psalms 91 is our promise that we don’t have to give inNot fear, not disease, nothing is stronger than the promises below.  To make it clear, the words of the Psalm will be in Blue, and mine in black.  

    Click this to keep reading!

  • Thu, March 12, 2020 10:21 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    I’m ALWAYS looking for a deal.  Whether it’s a discount code, BOGOs, coupons...I love them all!  Ask my hubby, Mark, and he will tell you that I find coupons EVERYWHERE!  Once Mark was test driving cars and came home with a used Cadillac from the dealership. He told me how he wanted it, but they would have to come down to his price or he wouldn’t buy it.  He haggled with the salesmen for days and got them to come close to his number. Before he went back to buy it, I said, “Hey wait, what dealership was it”? He told me, and I said, “I found a $300 off coupon for a used car from that dealership on the coke case the other day.”  He shocked the used car folks when he showed up, after haggling them down, and NOW he had a $300 off coupon!

    Another time, I was eating Frosted Flakes for dinner after coming home from my 3rd shift job at midnight.  I noticed the box said to “look inside to see if you’re a winner.”  I WAS A WINNER!!! I was so excited I tore the box open and then whispered to Mark as I went to bed that I had won a new Nintendo64, which had just come out on the market. He whispered back he didn’t believe me. Next morning, he checked, and woke me up to tell me I was a winner!  We still have that Nintendo and my three kids played it like crazy.

    I never, ever pay full price, and y’all,  my three kids wear name brand clothes! Before kids,  I clipped coupons and had them all organized. But then three kids came, and my organized life was never the same; it became more “organized chaos”!  I did only things I had time for, because I HAD to so as to not file bankruptcy over three kids in diapers and formula. You may not have time either, but hopefully you can find something here to save you a little money.

    Did you know many companies offer parents of multiples lots of freebies, discounts, coupons, and gifts?  You just have to ask. Some places require you to have birth certificates to apply for the free items or discounts and some are available even when you’re still pregnant.  I applied for every offer I could find when my twin girls were born. I received so many free items. I received $5 off coupons from diaper companies, a free Diaper Genie, and so many more things.

    Some businesses offer discounts for multiples, just ask wherever you go if they offer a twin discount.  You’ll be amazed how many places do this. And restaurants have KIDS EAT FREE nights!! We lived on that schedule too.


    So, let me break it down by ages what I do and did:

    Birth & Toddlers:










    Elementary School Age & Up:

    Private schools, sports & activities programs all usually give multiples discounts.  JUST ASK! 

    My kids all went to Private Christian Academy from PreK to 3rd grade. I paid full price for the 1st child, discounted for 2nd and 3rd child. I got even smarter, decided to work there, and not only received the multiple child discount, but 50% off for working there as well!

    My kids all played the same sports, and there was a time where my twin girls played on the same team as my son. The place we lived didn’t have enough girls to fill an all-girls soccer team, so my girls played soccer with the boys until jr. high. And guess what!?  If you guessed multiples discount, you are correct! 1st player -full price, 2nd and 3rd players were discounted.

    I mentioned above that my kids wear designer clothes, but I have never paid designer costs. Clothes are worn out so fast, but you want your kids to look amazing!  How can you afford it?

    Here are ways I did it:

    • Multiple moms’ garage/consignment sales! I always scored big at these events.  North Dallas Mothers of Twins Semi Annual Sale: https://www.facebook.com/NorthDallasMothersOfTwinsSemiAnnualSale/
    • Rhea Lana Fort Worth - check for city listings: https://www.facebook.com/RheaLanasOfWestFortWorth/  
    • Just Between Friends: https://www.jbfsale.com/home.jsp
    • Sign up for store discount clubs and VIP programs.  Once I earned so many points at Famous Footwear and I also had coupons, so I paid only $9 for four pairs of shoes!  You would be surprised how many deals you can stack at different stores.
    • Find a MoM whose kids are older than your children, and ask if you could have or purchase her children’s hand-me-down clothes.
    • Consignment stores!  I sold about half of my used clothes bins to two children and teen consignment stores for $300!  Of course there are many more but these are two I used:



    Do you want your multiples to match or coordinate?  Do you want to match your kids too? Here are a few sites to shop for special occasion clothing:







    I shopped some of these sites and found neat items from t-shirts, to invitations, to outfits for the kids: 

    Twin Stuff & Gifts:



    Happy discounting, couponing, and getting great DEALS!

    Twinscerely plus one,

    Melissa Miller

    Melissa Miller is a mom to children: Mark(21) & identical girls Martha & Melissa(19) and serves FWMOM as our Meals for MOM's Coordinator.

  • Wed, March 04, 2020 4:37 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    “If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibilities on their shoulders.” – Abigail Buren

    I don’t get into the habit of offering advice on the subject of raising multiples. For the most part, I feel like we are all just doing whatever we can to survive and just when we think we have a routine established, they throw another wrench into our plan.

    There is one area that helped me along the way that I feel confident enough to pass along. It is the subject of chores…and starting them early.

    I began realizing that my girls were capable of “helping” me around the age of two – and yes, I purposely put quotation marks around the word helping. At this age the days were long and many times felt very much like Groundhog’s Day. The girls would wake up and it was off to the races. I would get the girls dressed, make them breakfast, brush their teeth, make their beds, pick up their toys, lunch, toys, dinner, toys, brush teeth, toys, pjs, toys, and REPEAT day after day after day. It took so much energy to constantly repeat myself and often I found myself threatening them with punishment when they wouldn’t assist me. I needed a new technique. One that felt more positive and motivating for the girls and that was not mentally exhausting for me to follow through with and stay consistent.

    I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out but I decided to make a “chore chart.” I wrote out a list of my daily routine and began thinking of age appropriate tasks in which the girls could participate without making my life more difficult in the process. I chose tasks that they could complete daily and in which they would feel successful. Their chores began very simply with putting their dishes and sippy cups in the sink after meals, placing their clothes in the hamper in the morning and in the evening, picking up toys two times per day, and brushing their teeth (they started and we finished.) Once the chores were established it was time to put my chart together. There were many choices of charts for purchase, but in order to save a buck, I decided to make my own. My chart was a cookie sheet from Walmart with a piece of colorful tape to divide it into two columns. I labeled the sides “To Do” and “Done.” For each chore I printed off pictures that represented the task (ie. a picture of a shirt and shorts for putting clothes in the hamper, a picture of a plate and fork for putting dishes in the sink, etc.) I glued these onto something more rigid like a square cut out of a cereal box or a piece of cardboard to make it sturdy. On the back of the square I glued a strip of magnetic tape and the chart was complete.

    When I introduced the chart to the girls they could hardly wait to start “moving their magnets” which for me translated to completing chores, learning responsibility, doing their part for the family, and of course taking something off my plate. Instead of getting frustrated and talking negatively, I could say “I guess you do not get to move your magnet today.” Suddenly their reluctance to pick up toys was replaced with their desire to move the magnet. With the chart there was no reason to reward their good behavior with sweets or gifts. They got the reinforcement they wanted through their own accomplishments.

    The chore charts can be modified as your children grow and develop. Tasks can be added and removed and words can replace the pictures as the children begin learning to read.

    Mothers of multiples face specific challenges in balancing life with at least two children who are often reaching milestones and accomplishing developmental goals at the same time. This is a blessing, no doubt, but also brings along with it 2 times, 3 times, sometimes even 4 times the amount of work to keep it all together for some semblance of order. It’s always helpful to have an extra tool in your mom tool belt. Maybe this chore chart idea will make it in yours.

    Janae Huffman is a mom to twin girls Audrey and Eleanor (age 5) who started kindergarten this year. She is the VP of Events for FWMoM and is a practicing occupational therapist.

  • Wed, February 26, 2020 6:34 AM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    A year or so ago at library story time, I informed a mom that her shirt was on inside out and then I kept an eye on her child while she ran to the restroom to rectify her wardrobe malfunction. Upon her swift return, she expressed her thanks and uttered a phrase I’ve heard countless times since becoming a mom, “It takes a village, huh?”

    We’ve all heard this phrase, right? The saying used to hold very little meaning for me as a self- reliant stay-at-home-mom to one. I didn’t need a village. My oldest and I filled our days with mommy and me music class, library story time, zoo play dates, and lazy days at home. And then, the news that would change our lives forever: “Three sacs, three babies, three heartbeats.” Triplets. The question I began to hear the most was, “Do you have help?!” Because we live so close to much of our family, we do have plenty of help, luckily for us. With four children under 2 and a half, the idea of not depending on others went completely out the window. And by God’s good grace, my village began to form.

    I joined Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples when I was still pregnant with my triplets, who are now 3. For a while after they were born, I wasn’t able to attend meetings or events for months just because of the logistics of having a toddler and three newborns to leave behind. Once my babes were a bit easier for my husband to put down for bed by himself, I was able to re-enter the land of the living and start joining in on meetings and events. Meanwhile, the very active FWMoM Facebook page kept me in the loop and connected to my fellow moms of multiples.

    On the page, questions are asked, encouragement is given, solutions are brainstormed, and support is offered freely. What an amazing age to live in; I may have never met you but you can reach out to me and give some of the best advice! Since I’ve been part of the community now for three and a half years, I have been on both the receiving and the dispensing end of guidance and I’ve seen moms go from bravely reaching out for help in their post-partum anxiety to reaching out from the other side to offer reassurance that it does, in fact, get better.

    A very practical way that moms can be of assistance to other moms is sharing belongings between families, very evident in our extremely popular members-only buy/sell/trade page. Daily you can find matching twin clothing sets being posted for purchase at a fraction of the original cost, free formula and diapers being offered up, and toys being passed along from older kids to younger kids. There is one infant swing currently being passed around from mom to mom free of cost; it’s on its way to the fourth FWMoM family! These hand-me-downs are especially important when a family is trying to provide quality items for multiple kids of the same age.

    For me, the place where my village truly began to build and relationships continue to solidify is in-person connections. At meetings and social events, it’s so nice to be able to leave our family worries behind at home and walk into a space full of other moms who “get it,” where I can count on my heart being filled by true conversations with other adults (at times, a rarity!) and I can be a PERSON for a while; a WOMAN, not singularly a MOM. Additionally, at family events and play dates, I always know my fellow MoMs have my back. They keep an eye on my kids and I do the same for them. Having been a part of other mom groups, I can say with authority that moms of multiples do this better than any other moms! The thought of taking my four young kids to the children’s museum or a trampoline park by myself induces anxiety but if my FWMoM friends will be there, I have no stress because I know they will watch out for my kids and help me in any way I may need.

    Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples members have possibly only one commonality drawing us together. We come from different backgrounds, up-bringing, belief systems, political parties, etc. But the one thing that draws us together is the unique experience of raising children of multiple births. Once we’re drawn together, we begin building the relationships that create a “tribe.” Our battles can be fought together, and our victories can be celebrated together, as they should be! Even better, our kids are part of our tribe, too. When my kids ride with me to deliver meals to new moms and we talk about how others did the same for us when our babies were little, they see me serving other moms and they see what it’s like to belong to something bigger and greater than themselves. Our children need to learn how to be part of a community, to give back, serve others, and share love. As moms, we can look for opportunities to be the village to other moms. And in doing so, we teach our children this way of living, too.

    Emily Dennis is mom to 5 year old Caroline and 3 year old triplets, Jameson, Shepherd, and Audrey. She serves FWMoM as the social coordinator.

  • Wed, February 19, 2020 12:07 PM | Tonya Flowers (Administrator)

    I would like to say I have it figured out, this fearless lifestyle stuff. You know, walking in confidence in who I am, never giving in to worry, but I don’t. I’ll be winning in one area of my life, just to look over and see the telltale signs of fear AGAIN. It is so frustrating at times, knowing the right moves to make, things to say, yet what comes out of me does not always reflect my desired outcome. Am I alone in this? I don’t believe so. I see it in the eyes of my mom friends, in the voice of my spouse, in the whine of my kids: symptoms of fear. Fear is common for all, yet there is hope; hope that we can rise above any storm with true peace, any challenge with a calm and focused plan, that we can walk through the fire and not smell of smoke. It’s not just possible, it’s attainable every movement of every day... and I want it! If you do too, then go with me on this road.

    Overcoming fear is a journey worth walking out.

    We have talked a lot about what fear looks like, how sneaky it is, how it devilishly tries to steal from us, and at times, succeeds. We have discussed some key tools to overcoming fear/worry/anxiety (whatever name you give it), which are all fantastic...when they’re actually implemented. That’s the kicker and what I want to focus on today. Action. The corresponding action to what we know will help us in our pursuit of a fearless lifestyle. We overcome fear with simple steps... it’s in daily walking those steps out where the difference is made. Consistency is the key to overcoming fear and fearful thoughts. How do we build momentum in our journey to overcome fear? One step, one moment at a time!

    Let’s take just 3 steps towards living fearlessly daily.

    1. Start your day off with the right words. You always believe what you say more than anyone else. The words you say carry the most weight. As you make decisions and walk through your day, the words coming out of your mouth have such enormous power! Thoughts become words, and words become the driving force of our actions. Want to change the way you react to fear? Do whatever it takes to get the right words; life affirming, peace filled, powerful words coming out of your mouth first thing in the morning! A few tricks I use to get my mind on track: writing notes on the bathroom mirror, setting my alarm to a song that reminds me to speak over fear, setting my phone screen to a picture or quote that sparks my heart towards peace. When I start my day off like this, with a mindset that I can overcome fear and worry right off the bat, no matter what happens that day I have a much better chance of stopping fear in its tracks. Here is my go-to verse right now:

    “Fill your thoughts with my words until they penetrate deep into your spirit. Then, as you unwrap my words (in speaking) they will impart true life and radiant health into the very core of your being. So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are.” Proverbs 4:21-23 TPT

    2. Don’t take it! You have the power to beat fear. Just because a fearful thought comes into your mind does not mean you have to leave it there. There have been times for me when fear comes for no apparent reason. Like one time driving home, I had the thought, “what if I get home and my kids and nanny have been slaughtered, how am I going to handle that?” What in the world?!? Where did that thought come from?! Not from me! Out of nowhere this harassing thought comes and I have to choose what to do with it. This is my go-to: “For God has not given me a Spirit of fear, but of Power...” When an irrational fear thought hits me, I say this out loud (even if I look foolish) and immediately fear has to leave. Power lies in what you say in that moment to stop those terrible thoughts.

    There are other times when the fear is much more rational, like the evening one of my twins fell backwards off the bed and hit his head hard on the floor. He had symptoms immediately that were not reassuring. This nurse mamma had a moment... Real life reasonable situation for fear. The truth is even in those moments when fear is a logical response, YOU STILL DON’T HAVE TO TAKE IT! There is no amount of worry and fear that will help in those situations. I choose to believe and listen carefully to God about what I should do. I refused to take the fear, and so can you. To get to a confident place in those moments takes disciplining your thoughts and words, but don’t be overwhelmed by that. Examine one thought at a time and take one powerful step.

    3. Stop. Collaborate (with wisdom) and listen. No this is not just a 90s throwback, but a funny line from my childhood that reminds me of a powerful tool to overcome fear; Wisdom. Sometimes the best thing to do is to shelf that fear and get some wisdom on the situation. For me what that looks like is in those times of so-called reasonable fear, I put it aside until I can get some understanding. My go-to verse in full: “For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of Power and Love and a Sound Mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV. A sound mind is a mind that collaborates with wisdom.

    Back to my child’s backwards head dive off the bed... I was immediately so afraid, but I set that fear aside and reached for my resources. My first was prayer, the second was a call to our pediatrician. I held my son, had my husband remove distractions (the other clamoring children), and called the afterhours nurse. I know adult medicine, not kiddos. I had to get an expert to help me. I put that nurse on speaker phone and kept her there until I was satisfied. Thankfully he was ok, no need for a late-night trip to the ER or worse, we watched him closely all night. It is okay to reach out for wisdom when you don’t know what to do. This brings peace. Find trusted sources, listen with objective ears, and do not jump to conclusions.

    I would caution trusting everyone's “experiences” as tried and true wisdom. If they are operating in fear, then you will be misled. So that awesome song comes to mind when I don’t have the information needed to make a fearless decision... ICE ICE BABY... the “baby” being wisdom! Momma, listen to me! You have been given a sound mind, and when fear thoughts or scary situations arise, remember to stop and collaborate with your sound mind and Godly wisdom!

    The journey towards a fearless lifestyle may seem so far away right now. I get it. Thoughts bombard daily life for all of us. Each step, each choice, each worry defeated is one step closer. The hope we hold onto is that although we walk in a world full of fear (rational or otherwise) we have the power, love and sound mind to rise above it. Let me leave you with these famous words from Psalms 23:

    “Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of the deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way. Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear.” Psalms 23: 4 TPT

    Tonya Flowers is mom to three boys, Lucas 9 and 4 year old twins Wyatt and Timothy. She is a nurse and serves FWMOM as our Chaplain. 

Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples

P.O. Box 123874

Fort Worth, Texas 76121

Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.

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