It’s that time of year to declare all the things you’re going to do better. Many of us make grand statements about what we are going to stop doing or start doing in the new year. Eat less sugar, workout more, make more quality time with the kids, drink less, keep up with laundry, spend more time with friends, less hiding in the closet when your kids have lost their minds. If you are anything like me it’s one week in and I am beating myself up about having failed to do all the things I set out to do.
For some reason, we have this belief that at the stroke of midnight that we are magically transformed into this body that will do all the things that we didn’t do well last year. Um….no, that’s not how it works unless you are Cinderella and have a bunch of mice working for you. New Year’s resolutions are easy to break but goals are more attainable.
So, let’s try something new in 2022. Let’s set goals this year instead of New Year’s resolutions. Goals are things you can break down into small milestones, things you can track and are doable. Start by identifying one small goal. For example, if your goal is to move your body more it’s not going to happen if you say I am going to go to the gym every day for an hour. For one, you have multiples and maybe other kiddos that’s not a reality unless you are some kind of super mom. Two, that is a big statement and if you are not currently working out, going from 0 to 100 is not doable. Setting a small goal that you can build on is doable. Saying I am going to move my body at least once this week for 15 minutes is doable. Maybe that means doing a walk in the neighborhood, maybe that means walking in place, or maybe laying on the floor with the babies and doing some stretches. Then, you add-on to that. The next week make it twice a week, the next week make it twice a week for 20 minutes. If you do more than what you set out to do that’s great. If you complete your actual simple goal then you feel accomplished and good about yourself instead of like a failure when the bar is set too high.
Once you have identified one small goal write it down. Give yourself a big smiley face or a checkmark when you accomplish it. I have included a sheet that I use to track my goals, emotions, and gratitude. Use it if you find it helpful, if not find some other way to track your day.
So, think about the 15 things on your New Year’s resolution list and pick one to start with. Don’t worry about the rest you will get to them, you have an entire year to build up to them. When we add things gradually to our lives, they become a part of our lives. When we throw a bunch of things in it creates chaos and we are just trying to survive and push through.
While you are setting a goal set an intention as well. Intentions are different than goals. They are the mindset and inner voice to help us reach our goals. They assist in creating the version of ourselves that we would like to see. The intention for the above goal would be I want to feel stronger in my body so I will move it once a week for 15 minutes. Say this to yourself throughout the day.
So, bring on 2022 with a bang and identify one small goal that you can build on throughout the year. What is your intention that you can focus on and use as a daily mantra?
Happy New Year mamas! I pray that this year brings you all the love and joy that your heart desires, and maybe a little peace and quiet from all the multiples you have in your household.
Hi, I’m Amy Simpson and I have twin eight-year-old girls. I live with my husband, the girls, our schnauzer “Lizzy”, and Aussiedoodle “Donahue” in west Fort Worth. I have been a member of FWMOM since I was 18 weeks pregnant. This group has provided support and love from the very beginning.
As a family we enjoy traveling, Mexican Food, dance parties, and spending time with family and friends. We try to do as much outside as we can to keep the girls busy so if you see our backyard its packed with lots of fun things to do. I was a baker in my previous life, so we love to bake and cook, and then share with our neighbors to get the yummy things out of the house. The girls are in 2nd grade and they love to learn and have fun.
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and I have a private practice in Fort Worth where I work primarily with women. I provide mental health counseling in areas of anxiety, depression, loss, grief, motherhood, and self-care. My journey to have the girls was a long one that had many ups and downs. Once I had them my postpartum was pretty severe for several months. With a traumatic birth, a NICU stay and two kiddos that had colic, acid reflux and slept very little for the first eleven months it was a rough time. Once I could catch my breath, I opened my practice over seven years ago to help women who are struggling with all things getting pregnant, staying pregnant, and transitioning into motherhood. Motherhood is So, so, so very hard at times and I feel like people do not prepare you for it. Especially being the mother to multiples there are things that people just do not understand unless you have multiples. I feel like my journey to becoming a mother is and was a blessing so that I can love women where they are and provide some understanding and support through difficult times. For myself and with all of my clients I focus on self-care. Self-care is so very important to your mind, body and soul and its usually the first thing to go when life gets hard.
The mothers of multiples group has been a place where I have met some of my best friends that are real, honest, caring, loving and supportive. I cannot imagine doing life without them. I will admit when I was struggling with my postpartum, I thought about leaving the group because I could not seem to get this “mothering of multiples” thing down. It appeared that everyone else had it together with sound mind and body while I felt like I was struggling to get out the door without puke in my hair and on my clothes. The love and support of the women in the group kept pulling me back in for which I am so grateful for.
So, use this group to get you through life, to support, and love one another through the good and the bad. Create your support system, find your friends, reach out to others that need a helping hand or a word of encouragement. Have play dates, have mommy dates, have couples’ dates create your tribe because raising multiples is such a blessing but it gets crazy at times and you need your tribe to get you through. If you need a helping hand reach out my office cell is 817-266-1159 email is firstname.lastname@example.org and you can check out my website at amysimpsonlcsw.com.
Here’s to 2022 find your tribe, create time for you and focus on self-care.