I absolutely loved Salt-n-Pepa when I was growing up. “Let’s Talk About Sex” was definitely a catchy tune that would stick in my mind and I’d hum it, dance to it, and sing it (when my parents weren’t around, of course). I mean, you’re probably singing it in your head right now. You’re welcome for that, by the way…. (Need a quick throwback? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g Enjoy.
In February, the Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples (FWMoM) meeting welcomed a fellow twin mom, and one of our GOLD LEVEL SPONSORS, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, PhD Sexologist, as a guest speaker. Dr. Holbrook provided a fun and informative evening with answers and suggestions for us to navigate our relationships, our parenting, and our own beliefs and feelings regarding sex and intimacy. Her presentation even included a 3D model of female anatomy printed at the local public library! It was awesome. Her story-telling, real life, no-nonsense, scientific-yet-relatable approach made the taboo subject of sex feel very normal and comfortable.
One of the biggest “takeaways” from the presentation (for me) was the reminder that WE ARE ENOUGH…..AS IS. No matter what your faith, no matter what your lifestyle, no matter what…..we are all unique and made to be exactly who and what we are. Especially during today’s uncertain times, it is easy to question if we are enough…doing enough…cleaning enough…disinfecting enough, homeschooling enough....housekeeping enough…working out enough…keeping our spouses/partners fulfilled…preparing enough...the list is endless. The fact remains that no matter what the FEELING or insecurity tells us, WE ARE ENOUGH and we need to recognize, appreciate, and OWN our worth.
Trying to successfully balance being a good mom AND an intimate partner is not an easy task…… I know for me, I felt that I was somehow “broken” and my body just didn’t work like it did before becoming a mommy. Dr. Holbrook explained that the biggest killer of arousal is RESPONSIBILITY. I found this statement to be GENIUS. When she said it, I wanted to stand up and scream out loud “YASSSSSSSSSSS! PREACH!” For many of us (I would venture to even say MOST of us), being a mom means handling (almost) every need that arises in our homes. The expectation that we place on ourselves to suddenly shift from being “Mom-Boss” by day and an aroused sexual goddess by night is unrealistic (and unkind). Our brains and our ongoing “to do lists” don’t disappear when our children go to bed for the evening. Wouldn’t that be amazing if we could just suddenly be blissfully unaware of responsibilities every night at 8pm?! Expecting our bodies to separate from responsibility and become energized and aroused brings challenges that we must recognize and work through.
Good news…. you are absolutely NOT broken. Your situation, your life, and your body need time to recover, adjust and create a new “norm”. This can take months and even years…go easy on yourself! Stop carrying guilt and allowing yourself to feel like a failure. YOU ARE GROWING AND MOLDING MULTIPLE LIVES THAT WILL ULTIMATELY DO GREAT THINGS IN THIS WORLD. YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU WERE MADE FOR ALL OF THIS AND YOU’RE COMPLEX AND AMAZING AND CAPABLE OF HANDLING ALL OF IT.
If you missed the February meeting, be sure to check out FWMoM Facebook page. The presentation was provided via Facebook Live and has been posted for review. Additionally, Dr. Holbrook invited all of us to join her private Facebook group for discussions, questions, and information regarding all things related to sex and intimacy. To join, search “Circle of Sensual Women” on Facebook and request to be added.
Lastly, I want to mention that Dr. Holbrook offers a complimentary 30 minute discovery call to explore how she may be able to help clients. She is amazing, and we are so very grateful to have her as a GOLD LEVEL SPONSOR of our organization. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and utilize this incredible resource.
Phone: (682) 207-1047
Author: Beth Wangerin is a mom to a 5 year old boy and 3 year old twin girls. She currently serves as the VP of Sponsorship and Fundraising for Fort Worth Mothers of Multiples.