Fear starts with a thought and usually it’s not alone. It is kind of like getting caught in a rainstorm... you never just feel one single drop of rain. Fear thoughts come in like storm clouds that soak you to the bone. I remember when we were ready to start trying again for another child. Our oldest was 3 and we were hopeful for pregnancy to happen quickly. We had always gotten pregnant easily, and already walked through one miscarriage before Lucas, and I was thankful that that unpleasant experience was behind us... certainly that would not happen again. Like before, we were overjoyed to get pregnant again quickly!
Like a flood, I remember being angry, sad and consumed with fear when we lost that child. It wasn’t just one fearful thought, it was millions. It wasn’t just consuming my mind; fear affected my body and our marriage. Thankfully, my husband remained unmoved and helped me pull myself back together and began believing again for a child. We were surrounded by a church family that were all praying, and the support of that community helped heal my heart.
I soon moved out of fear and back into confidence. However, we suffered not one more, not two more, but three more miscarriages in the subsequent year. A total of 4 babies. We did all the right things, saw all the doctors, took all the supplements, wrote a prayer of petition, sought out a holistic approach, visited high risk specialists... all to learn there was absolutely nothing wrong with either of us. We were clearly fertile and there was no good reason for us to be losing these babies. The one bad reason was that we have an enemy, and that punk had come to steal from us. Fear rained hard, and at times our umbrellas folded under the pressure.
We had a choice to make. Would we let the fear of never having another child stop us in our pursuit of expanding our family? Or would we press forward in confidence? The battle with fear always starts between your ears, in your mind. Eventually, what’s in your mind will come out of your mouth in the form of words, which will shape your life. We really felt the pounding rain of fear inside us. Then we read a scripture that gave us the wisdom on how to rise above these seemingly never-ending rain clouds:
2 Corinthians 10:4-5: “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, and casting down arguments and reasonings and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ.”
Gosh, take every thought captive. What that means is that anytime a thought comes into your mind, you must verify it has the right to be there. Similar to the way the TSA agent verifies your flight information and examines your bags (and you) before allowing you entry to the internal part of the airport. That is the way we should screen our thoughts to clear entry to our minds. Specifically, before they come out of our mouth and cause damage.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” What you say guides your life and choices. Like I said before, fear thoughts rarely come alone. They show up in droves to the entry to your mind with baggage designed to keep you from taking off. If fear can get your focus off your destination, it can keep you from flying above the storm! For my husband and I, we knew we had to examine every thought that came into our mind. Anytime fear would rain on me, I would say out loud, “I’m so thankful to be a happy mother of children.” It didn’t matter what I was doing. Even if it was a weird time to say it, it was a tool I used to take those thoughts captive and refocus.
We continued all the things we were doing in the natural. We followed all the physician's advice, but our main battle was in our minds, and we were determined to win. We were going to take off and set out at an altitude above the rain clouds of fear. See, once you determine not to allow fear to consume you, your life can rise above the storm where there's peace and clear skies.
Not long after, we got pregnant again. I vividly recall that drive to our first ultrasound appointment. I prayed the whole way, and my husband and I shared stories that encouraged our faith. We were battling in our minds and stirring up hope in one another for the family we had dreamed of. He’s pretty good at making me laugh and said, “Even when we have a healthy baby, we could still practice some more at conceiving!” For Heaven’s sake!
We desperately wanted to hear the whoosh of a little healthy heartbeat. As you all know, God had done a lot more than just one little heartbeat! He multiplied our family dream with twins! I was so thankful; all I could do was laugh! You would think fear would have taken me over at that point. However, instead of being flooded with fear and worry over a high-risk pregnancy, I was filled with the strongest peace I have ever felt. That peace carried me through the entire pregnancy, and we welcomed our two sweet additions with no fear!
You too can overcome fear by paying close attention to what is going on in your mind. Verify and screen your thoughts carefully, because they will produce life or death. To be clear, fear will always come. The power to overcome fear rests entirely on what you allow to come out your mouth in that moment. Consider what you can say when the feeling of fear rains down, and you will be living a fearless lifestyle before you know it!
Author: Tonya Flowers is the mother of 3 boys: Lucas who’s a 3rd grader, and 3 year old twin boys, Wyatt and Timothy. She is a nurse part time, a minister at her church, and serves FWMOM as our Chaplain.